As a grown man i find it a difficult chore to watch films about superheroes, especially when they are steeped deep in frail teenage bicep poses bridled with reckless testosterone. All in a vain attempt to compensate for missing frontal lobe neurons or skipping yet another important leap into any real masculine virtue or strength.Marvel Entertainment, and I use the words with extreme sarcasm, though I realize this is not art but created for the fear of money or the loss of it. The collapse of Hollywood’s money cow that no longer gives milk unless it’s squeezed to death with monkey wrench hands. Forces the pinnacle of overcompensation and teenage loudmouth rantings to shadow Hollywoods underwhelming achievements, sophomoric mental abilities and desperation.
The Avengers is a bad slash and cut, copy and paste montage of all of Jack Kirby’s best creations. Never once did I see the GREAT comic artist KIRBY’S name to be seen anywhere. It’s as though the creator never existed, after inventing almost everything from the Xmen to the Fantastic Four. At least Dc Comics gives Superman’s creators credit for inventing the character.
On the big screen, Loki is Thor’s half brother. Loki, The God of boring mischief is pulled from the void of the terrible THOR movie, a movie not even Anthony Hopkins could save as ODIN. And Odin is supposed to be ALL POWERFUL.
The point of the Avengers is to create what is discussed in almost every comics book store during the golden days of comics stores. Who can beat up who, who is stronger and which superhero has the best powers and how does anyone muster the energy to care?
In four color process, these fantasies fitted brilliantly into tiny panels on a comic page and gave many a child their first desires to read and Kirby’s high moral standards soared with Gods, Demons and Silver Surfers of virtue.
Yet none of this comes across in the movies, it’s all posturing and comical. Without an artist’s dynamic pencils or endless creative ingenuity, these so called hero’s are hollow papermache stand ins.
There are so many flaws to the script, that I cannot possibly point them all out unless I rewrote the entire script. The useless reaction shots, pitiful dialogue: Captain America demands Stark to “PUT ON THE SUIT, PUT ON THE SUIT” too many times to bear. It’s like the taunting of school yard bullies, the oxymoron is that one of the newest American obsessions is about Bullies in school. Something Steve Rodgers himself was the victim of many times in his early days. The blatant contradictions never end in this hasty script, it made me sick, beyond my superpower ability to endure psychological pain.
Nick Fury played by Sam Jackson is completely out of his zone. He looks great, but being from the school of hard knocks like Downy and playing a cartoon restrained by a movie ratings code shows in every stilted strut.
How many times have we seen the same glass prison? And of the millions of villains The Avengers fought was it really necessary to return to the obvious Loki, backed by hordes of demonic looking aliens? The moment the alien hoard is revealed you know how the third act will kill this movie. I have seen carpet being laid that was less predictable.
Cap, sadly is one dimensional, or half a dimension. I usually enjoy Chris Evans as an actor, and he has massive pecs but Cap is missing all that made men great and courageous during WW2. I can see him trying, but on screen he looks childish compared to his performances in other films. And it’s a lost opportunity to really show a great hero out of his time and how his values clash with our modern world. Cap looks bewildered, a tiny bit sad. Maybe because his costume is SO BAD! Someone please have the courage to fix this.
Hawkeye, No! That’s not going to work at all. Hawkeye’s silly and Jeremy Renner constant squinting doesn’t portray the angst the original character had, especially when Don Heck drew him,
Hulk, the 3D version never looked so sublime. He says the least but we look forward to revelations of his character because after so many failures in his various other iterations, it’s obvious a mute Hulk isn’t going to make it in this era. Every grunt is a herald hymn.
Mark Ruffalo lays down a good foundation as Banner, though it feels a bit soft to me. I think it’s his intention to play off the brutality of the Hulk. I can imagine Marvel wringing it’s hands at the potential money cow squirting again. With Mark behind the helm of Banner there is hope to break the comic pages wall into some sense of humanity. Mark could be the Downey Jr. of the Hulk. I can hear the ink drying on Hulk movie contracts already.
Black Widow, now she is something you can sink your teeth into. Scarlett Johansson has all the best scenes, the best motivations and comes out on top, looking great and intelligent. I was shocked at the writing of her sequences, they were semi intelligent, interesting and had real guile. When was the last time you saw that in a comic movie character? They should make a Black Widow movie if they really want to make some money! And I know they want big money, so a Black Widow movie is coming! Strangely it’s still not here?
Robert Downey Jr. is losing his mind. In the first Ironman he was fresh and greedy, every line a gem, with delivery sharp as an executioner’s axe, and depth that a submarine couldn’t find. Suddenly he’s half cooked in this role, yes I realize it’s alot of money dropped at his door every morning and I realize the entire Marvel run of success has been on his back!
That’s why he is getting the serious cash to reprise Ironman, because without Downey’s humanity holding up the suit, Ironman is NOTHING, but hollow tech pron. And without this era’s tech ambassidor leading the way, The Avengers is just a bunch of second stringers lost on the subway without tokens or change.
Downey knows he shouldn’t beat this character to death, but it’s payday and he can always walk away later safe and sound and rest his career for half a decade only to return as the king once again. Something he has done quite a few times already in his life.
To his credit he forced a directorial change and got his friend Black to direct Ironman 3 and as soon as I recover from this Avengers debacle of two hours of torture, I will rent the Bluray of Ironman 3. UPDATE: Viewed IM3, train wreak, sorry. Do not watch it.
So the comic heros beat each other up, they beat up some other guys, they try to rescue the stupid Shield carrier from falling out of the sky again, when it should have just stayed in the water. Wow, that was a mind blowing useless scene. Cap has to pull a red lever while ole Shellhead has to get the rotors spinning? Can someone explain to the suits and ties how each scene has to develop the characters or its out of the script.
Then fast forward to the finale, lets destroy New York AGAIN. So it can be copied in Man of Steel and let the humungous collateral damage be somehow viewed as a relevant ending not the brain numbing collapse of reason it is, always has been and always will be. From bad old Bond movies to silly Sci fi acton films, more destruction is NOT a climax.
Once more for the record, more guns, weapons and endless killing, doesn’t create drama it destroys the third act, loses the audience and ruins any hope of being relevant. Watch the dramatic ending of THE ROAD for real human drama.
I can’t say I didn’t like The Avengers because I hated it so much. And when you take one of my favorite actors, Robert Downey Jr. and make him look tired and bored, I like it even less.
With so few things of quality left to enjoy, can we really afford more films like the Avengers?
If you must see these movies at least wait for the blurays, unless you’re in Tokoyo bored to death in a multiplex with an artificial wave machine next door.
Here is the cover from John Busema’s version of the Avengers, introducing The Vision. An artificial being created from the dead android body of Toro the original Human Torch. For all you comic lovers out there, some history into the true richness of The Avengers.
I can only pray the comic book phase of movies dies much faster than the past eras of cowboy movies or italian mobster films. If Marvel keeps hacking these out, it will be like the scene from Apocalypse Now, their holy cow will be slashed to pieces next to a filthy river turned red from it’s blood.
I can not wait for Avengers 2. How about you?