Upcoming: Batman murdered by Ben Affleck

Sometimes you ahve to be cruel to be kind, Batfleck.“Holy Batfleck, Batman”

“Don’t talk like that Robin, or I will have to wash your mouth out with Borox.”

“No really, it’s all over the internet. Ben Affleck is playing you in the new Man of Steel sequel”

“WTF? STFU!”

“Seriously, check this Sh** out”

“Jesus Christ, WTF is wrong with these slow witted MF? Affelck doesn’t have the balls to play me. No gravitas! Zero muscle. And his face is the Pillsbury dough boy. F*** Boston, this is Gotham! You think after all the money I made those Hollywood bastards they would have more respect!”

“I don’t know he looks kinda cute”

“Robin, stop that SH**, we’re on the clock. I’m going to have to do something about this”

“Like what? It’s already a solid. He’s in.

“Yes, but he can be taken OUT”

Jesus christ are you joking, ben affleck as batman? kill me now.It’s Adam West all over again, it’s the nippled Clooney bobble head drama queen returned from toy closet. After decades of trying to get it right, even stumbling through the Tim Burton Bat-Mite Beetlejuice triple play. Nolan finally comes close with bringing a definitive rendering of the DARK NIGHT longed by every comic keep in the world.

Aside from the goofball mouth full of marbles voice of Christian, we almost had a definitive Batman. Why couldn’t they fix that in post?

Ben Affleck is Batman. batfleck. What a con job.Warner Bros decides to murder their cash cow Batman in response to the Marvel juggernaut bearing down on them. Realizing that comic book movies could possibly be a trend, the need to push product through as fast as possible is paramount. Unable to match the The Avengers box office and their extravaganza of wobbly supporting movies has made Warner desperate.

With no Downey Jr clones in sight to bring the proper slight of hand to a complex character that demands respect in order to work. Without Downey Jr. as Ironman, there would be no Marvel dominance pure and simple. Not even Christian Bale has Downey’s chops to raise the bar of comic book superhero to reality TV status draped in tech pron.

So Warner is forcing the producers into blatant suicide. Hari Kari. It’s the only dignified way out and still save face. And what possible better way to die on your sword than to drag in Gigli, Jennifleck, Ben Lopez, the nail in Batman’s coffin.

affleckdamonbatmanrobinWhat the producers are claiming box office numbers on Affleck are amazing and will only add to Batman numbers. Wait a second, are they discounting that Afflecks career was dead and buried before he took a massive time out before trying his hand at directing.

So Batfleck is DC comics answer to Robert Downey Jr? What a serious error in judgement and beyond a doubt this will be an avalanche of destruction reverberating through the Halls of Justice for the Justice League is now mortally wounded.

Batman Affelck Batfleck disaster,kills superman then moves to Boston.Waiiittt a second, didn’t Affleck also play Superman in Hollywoodland? Jesus, will this guy give it a rest. What’s he going to do punch himself in the face for Superman vs Batman? Lord, give someone else a chance will you.

Benfleck brings too much baggage to the role. The weirdness of the Clerks clan, the failures, the exwives, and most irreversible the Matt Damon bromance.

Better potential Batmans? Here’s the short list of who I would prefer other than Affleck the affected Boston droid of mediocrity.

Meme, Affleck slaps DamonDennis Rodman. Yes Rodman would be an incredible Batman. Tall, strong and in your face. Ever seen this guy on the court. He used to dominate. And he would again as the first Black Batman, break court rules and own the thieves over at Marvel when Warner grabs all the headlines for being progressive. Of course they would have to hire an acting couch but I’m ok with that.

Gwen Stefani. Yes a female Batman. It’s been worked out in the comic world, why not in the movies. Gwen is insanely hot and has got the dance moves to pull off any kind of rope work. I would love a blond female Batman and I think she is a pretty good actress. Hell she married that cornball musician and pretended to love it for years.

Vin Diesel. Sure Diesel is busy with Riddick. But this is one bad ass dude and it always seems real when he is in kick ass mode or at least convincing. He’s ripped, has a harsh delivery and a loyal following to match Afflecks BO (Box Office) clout.

All of these choice are just as possible as the sure thing, bullet ridden corpse that Affelck will make of Batman.

UPDATE: Well it’s been proven BatFleck is a totally failure. Batman V Superman was a total fiasco. Affleck’s bloated, whiney, murdering Batman doesn’t have the brains to think his way out of mange a trois at Poison Ivy’s house. BatFleck has belly flopped Warner’s multi million dollar tent pole movie and no matter how hard they push to finish Justice League, Batman will take a lot of work to recover. Especially when there are rumors of a BatFleck directed Batman movie  threatening us on the horizon.

The real deal isn't Gigli, or Jennifleck. It's the damn Batman.

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