Why I really hated THIS IS THE END

This is the End, these faces look like mine did watching this terrible movie.

This Is The End is an asinine, abortion of a movie. Frothed up from the pot addled minds of what is currently the so called comedic elite of modern actors. It’s filled with the A list of actors that should NEVER, EVER work in another movie as long as they are able bodied. It’s the end of the world judgment day script device, and what better place to spend it but in the house of the cheap art, cock obsessed, current ultimate slime ball James Franco. All the not funny, self involved LA reptiles are present playing themselves. And when the true Apocalypse arrives the awful truth of what we all already knew is revealed, these scumbags aren’t going to heaven. THIS IS THE END, is not funny, not interesting and not really even a movie, more like a joke told by drunk and high wannabes who can’t get a laugh no matter how hard they debase themselves.Jay and that Apatow dude are best friends and are stupid looking, mouthed open most of This is the End

Wow, this weak, flacid, sordid, sequence of bad character revelations is shockingly bad. It festers on prolific revulsion more that humor. If this was written by stoned teenagers in their parents basement while they were gone to synagog then it may have been somewhat engaging as a school project for autistic children.

Jay lands in his most hated of destinations Hollywood, to visit and stay with his friend.

You know the guy that ruined the Green Hornet from ever becoming a real movie and was completely upstaged by his Asian Bruce Lee wanna be Kung Fu expert side kick. And when I say completely UPSTAGED I mean that exactly.  Seth something, I’ll refer to this person as the CULPRIT, until I can bare to say his name.

The Culprit wrote and directed This is the End. If writing can be called smoking a few giant bong loads and spitting out whatever ludicrous ideas slap your brain pan while your equally high friends laugh and congratulate you on your genius. This scene actually happens in the movie.

Michael Cera the ass grabbing, cocaine sex freak is revealed at last.

Michael Cera really stretches his antichrist traits by slapping women’s asses and getting a dual blow job, rim job or whatever the hell that scene was? I can only guess, by the reactions and statements of his semi excused pseudo friends it was something dancing that line. The sex scene does give credibility perhaps to Michael dying by being impaled on a lamp post. The premise being that the most evil will die the soonest and in the worse way? How much closer will movies turn to porn to seek out false humor and shock value. Hollywood, it isn’t working!

So Joe hates all of the Culprits friends especially MONEY BALL co star Jonah Hill. Hell who doesn’t hate Hill? Is it even possible not to hate Hill. Isn’t Hill merely Hill to be hated? Well he is in this movie, much hated. Though I think he is desperately trying to change that with his new movie WAR DOGS.

They all crash into James Franco’s house for a party. Franco can out creep a porn star trying to kiss you. Constant attempts to ridicule Franco’s penchant for sex with male junk is too often blathered on about. The guy’s freaky enough,  I don’t need more information than I knew before heading into the theater. So it must be for their own enjoyment, that the bizarre ugly idiosyncrasies of each actor is trotted out for comedic failure.

There’s an earthquake but Franco’s house is built like a basement bomb shelter, it stands up to the test. Sink holes open and actors we all don’t really like die. So the main purpose I assume is that movie plays on the reality that they know we hate them and to see them die as themselves and not in roles, would somehow be fulfilling and it’s possibly cathartic for them to die as they probably hate themselves also. Hey Hey, don’t bogart that joint!

It’s a one location shoot mostly, the rank house of Franco and the usual dividing up of food rations. While we learn that actors never really stop their bad routines, like children on Ritalin. And it’s really irritating to watch these grown men emulate themselves and their Hollywood images of themselves. I am sure some of the perspective is blown out of proportion, like a ten minute diatribe on male orgasm and dumping it’s effects all over the house. It’s attempt at shock appeal is stupid and fails. It’s much like a conversation with a retarded teenager who still finds farts humorous. Pull my finger, come on, pull it. It’s funny. No, it’s not. Why? Well i’m not 2 years old anymore. At some point of maturation, the sheer redundancy of fart jokes have lost their appeal.

So Jay knows Hill hates him and Hill is putting on a show of adulation. So over the top, that it telegraphs the reversal and we all know it’s hate. That spearheads the relationship conflicts in the house while listening to screams from outside as people are killed or brought up to heaven via blue force fields. The curly haired guy hates everyone especially Franco and he eats all the food, wastes water, treats everyone with contempt and generally get himself voted out of the house by all. This guy always plays the same character, it’s never funny.

The fat guy that everyone keeps calling the fat guy is mellow, the peace keeper. He always plays the same guy also, even in a new Mr. Robot episode, he’s the same, just as mellow, just meaner. And of course the Culprit of this entire masturbatory, self indulgent fiasco of Hollywood flotsam is wide eyed in disbelief, side stepping responsibility as much as possible.

jonah hills credible woody impression from This is the EndSuddenly Hill does give a credible impression of Woody Harrelson, one of the few times you think the movie may elevate itself and each actor will bring out his best routines and let it all hang out unrestrained!

But that never happens, what could have been a possibly interesting look into the actors real lives and their supposed talents is just a clinging rancid script, bad direction and flat CGI.

Demons from hell start to appear and prove that Jay’s judgement day assumption is correct. Wow that was a shocking reveal. All the good people have ascended to heaven and all the bad people are still festering on earth groveling around for food. Meaning these actors aren’t good people. They are bad people, evil actors with lusts and greed and bizarre means of manipulating and hurting others. They know they are stranded on earth to become demon food as they so justly deserve.

 

At night Hill’s praying for Jay’s death and is visited by a demon with a huge phallus. It’s assumed the round ball gets buggered and is now possessed by demon seed. Followed by a poor, really poor mans exorcist scene. It just goes on like this, depreciating relentlessly.

The draining mumble core dialogue is constant and never once is it funny, never once interesting. Never once, does this movie create the slightest laughter.

Emma Watson, beautiful shocked at RAPE talk from multiple moronsAnother lengthy mumble core fumble about raping Emma Watson or wether they are NOT talking about raping Emma Watson. Is so bereft of anything but painful wincing. I can’t image why it was written or why Emma subjected herself to such ugly ridicule. It’s not funny in the least, unless you were brain dead and merely reacting to colors on the screen that you interpreted as clowns dancing.

The third act is pure dribble and grisly ugliness. The fattest guy of the crew being the only one with any moral code, sacrifices himself to save his friends. But instead of dying by sacrificing himself he is rewarded with a blue force field of light and he is drawn up to heaven. As his friends drive away in Franco’s Prius.

Wow that was easy right? and wonderfully predictable. Now the last 3 remaining bad actors know how to redeem themselves and get to heaven. Only it s not that easy, or is it?

channing's butt naked ass in the air to get reamed by Mcbride Tatums shining moment in film history. Stunt Double?

Enter the evil curly brown haired guy, he’s happy with the new Mad Max life style and even has his own Gimp on a leash. Who is a famous actor and for some creepy reason he’s debased himself to running on all fours with his naked ass hanging out while curly haired dude spits out grotesque imagery of how he sodomizes the actor. Channing Tatum must be having an off year to debase himself so ludicrously. Imagine Humphrey Bogart, or James Dean displaying themselves with such incredible lack of decorum. Clark Gable?

Franco decides to save his friends and sacrifice himself to the cannibals so they can escape. And predictably this act of kindness brings the blue light down and starts to pull Franco up. But Franco can’t restrain his true nature and ruins it by gloating, giving Curly freak guy the finger. Franco’s dropped to the floor to be devoured by Curly guy who immediately eats off his nose?!

Is this funny? NO! Is this scary? hum Not really. Stupid, yeah it’s really stupid. Doesn’t it take some style to be funny? Some kind of perspective. Is merely being offensive for it’s own sake, a humorous perspective? Have we lost all comedic talent in the industry that we must resort to pushing the ugly extremes usually reserved for the worst of slasher trash B movies.

The last remaining actors run away. They have a poor mans revelation about their teenage mental states and they all go to heaven in front of a giant satanic demon to be serenaded by Boys to Men.

Sophomoric, relentlessly offensive without actually ever being humorous and a constant predictable rant of mumble core at it’s worse. This IS The End is purely an exercise on how connections get movies made, how talent dwindles quickly and how smoking too much ganja will reduce your script to senseless witless garbage written by middle aged men grasping at fame for it’s own sake without any hint of quality, meaning or art.

This film should have been called SAUSAGE PARTY

3 thoughts on “Why I really hated THIS IS THE END

    • In addition to being the worst, it’s the most over budget, the most self indulgent and pathetic waste of resources. At least bad B movies make little claims of grandeur. The back slapping and self adulation only serves to ridicule the movie more. Again the budget donated to children’s cancer care would have made a better reel.

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      • If these guys don’t stop hugging each other and sleeping together. It’s going to make me wish John Wayne in a dress was back from the dead. At least he had an honest swagger.

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