Update: Alien Covenant is BOMBING at the box office. Tickets sales are plummeting. The audience has spoken and world wide the resounding answer is No, we don’t like bad scripts and stupid characters. Scott will have an extremely difficult time getting Awakenings green lit with a decent budget. Covenant will be lucky to clear 200 mill. The big wigs at the studio aren’t going to like this, but on with the review.
ALIEN CONVENENT is cheap torture porn at it’s lowest, disguised as a Sci Fi horror, tent pole movie. Cheap in it’s constant cliches despite surrounded by big money effects and actors scrambling to raise a sunken ship of fools from the ocean floor mired in confusion. Continue reading
Martha? Your mom has the same name as my mom? Whhaatt? Dude, like no way. Ok, never mind, my bad. Don’t worry, I’ll save your mom.
And so ends Batman’s horrific apocalyptic nightmare. The Earth’s potential world wide domination by an alien being, Superman, is blithely ignored because Batman’s mom was also called Martha. Uhh seriously? Continue reading
The Hateful Eight works hard to be hated and it wins.
Tarantino’s supposed last film before his self proclaimed alluring retirement is the most terrible piece of meandering nonsense ever crafted by the world renowned Director. Continue reading
Stop! Do not rent RoboCop, or even view it for free. Take away all the charm of the original ROBOCOP. All the quirky roles. Throw away a great performance from Peter Weller. Get rid of Weller’s fantastic voice skills and ingenious physical presence. Add a low level director in place of Paul Verhoeven, then sprinkle a few totally forgettable antagonists. And you have the most lackluster remake seen in many years. Ta da, magic, I mean disaster! Continue reading
Welcome to another Sylvester Stallone debacle, HOMEFRONT. It looks like Stallone has managed to handcuff his EXPENDABLES co-star Jason Statham into one of his terrible expendable cliched movie scripts. And to add poison the icing on this fruit cake, Stallone directs, this predictable post mortem story that raises from the grave every sad banal movie trick. Like a retired magician pulling too many rabbits out of his weathered hat.
So terrible. So useless a mishmash of CGI, bad script and flat acting, that I regret the 50 cents I spent on it at RedBox. I could have bought a donut. I could have taken the two quarters and buried them in the dirt. I would have had a more entertaining time watching the coins never bear fruit than the terrible confusing travesty of this film. The cast is pathetic. Aaron Eckhart is lost as I am bewildered as to what bizarre chain of events lead him to this empty wrestling CGI acrobatic acting abortion thrown against the ropes, falling sweaty to the mat over and over. Until you’re forced to stop your pain and press STOP. Continue reading
THE BAG MAN is a broken wheel barrow of a movie filled with corpses and endtrails dragged reluctantly down a dirt highway by John Cusak with Robert Deniro greasing the wheels with slop. This is a filthy Motel pitstop for both actors, and neither of their reputations will survive. Desperate, and violent. A sodium vapor lit parade of relentlessly distasteful acts bereft of any quality other than derivative screenwriting and lazy acting. Continue reading