Why I didn’t like THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL

the cut out near silent era nonsense of The Grand Budapest Hotel

Olde Piano roll please. THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL is a self indulgent, quirky extravaganza teetering on the cusp of becoming a silent era soap opera for the senile. Unfortunately sound is available and used infinitely to elaborate through near constant voice overs reporting what is obvious, foretelling what further abuse the characters and viewers will be thrust upon.  Continue reading

Why I hated ROBOCOP

Is this Batman? is it boring? Yes, it's the bad robocop, close your eyes.Stop! Do not rent RoboCop, or even view it for free. Take away all the charm of the original ROBOCOP. All the quirky roles. Throw away a great performance from Peter Weller. Get rid of Weller’s fantastic voice skills and ingenious physical presence. Add a low level director in place of Paul Verhoeven, then sprinkle a few totally forgettable antagonists. And you have the most lackluster remake seen in many years. Ta da, magic, I mean disaster! Continue reading

Why I liked THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY

 

the-secret-life-of-walter-mitty-2013.14903.jpgTHE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY is Ben Stiller’s struggle to reinvent himself. Desperately dog paddling away from his miniature Stallone and Tom Cruise imitations in poorly drafted satires. Tropic Thunder was Stiller’s last half way success. Thanks to the poignant casting of Robert Downey Jr. in black face, a radical idea. Still the movie stalled when Stiller’s over acting and parodies failed to amuse. The writing was on the wall, evolve or see yourself crash and emplode. Walter Mitty is Stiller’s best attempt at elevating his acting, directing and career.

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Why I really hated HOMEFRONT

Stallone's Stathams Homefront is a Shambles of cliches

Welcome to another Sylvester Stallone debacle, HOMEFRONT. It looks like Stallone has managed to handcuff his EXPENDABLES co-star Jason Statham into one of his terrible expendable cliched movie scripts. And to add poison the icing on this fruit cake, Stallone directs, this predictable post mortem story that raises from the grave every sad banal movie trick. Like a retired magician pulling too many rabbits out of his weathered hat.

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Why I really hated I, FRANKENSTEIN

I, Frankenstein. The worse movie ever made? Why Aaron? WHY?So terrible. So useless a mishmash of CGI, bad script and flat acting, that I regret the 50 cents I spent on it at RedBox. I could have bought a donut. I could have taken the two quarters and buried them in the dirt. I would have had a more entertaining time watching the coins never bear fruit than the terrible confusing travesty of this film. The cast is pathetic. Aaron Eckhart is lost as I am bewildered as to what bizarre chain of events lead him to this empty wrestling CGI acrobatic acting abortion thrown against the ropes, falling sweaty to the mat over and over. Until you’re forced to stop your pain and press STOP. Continue reading