After Alien, Covenant. Be prepared for Scott’s next massive feast of destruction, BLADERUNNER 2049. It will be a pathetic caricature of the original. Totally bereft of any soul or meaning as Scott rewrites the significance of yet another historical film with his mindless hysterical swerving on the road to oblivion.
If Covenant’s poor Box Office is any indication. Bladerunner will bring in far less money than the poor monies of the original and hopefully studios will stop banking on self indulgent directors to lead their greatest franchises and find some new blood to inspire the culture of film instead of sabotaging it.
The casting of the Goose, Ryan Gosling. Locks the sequel into self imploding mode and foretells the destruction of a possible franchise. Gosling simply isn’t capable of the gravitas that Harrison Ford brought to the original.
And when you stick the Joker in it just for laughs, you’re begging for a short walk to the gallows. Jered Leto is going to just gush all over this movie with even less dignity than his Joker rendition in Suicide Squad. Get ready for over the top, fake cool.
Just what we needed in Bladerunner. If you think 2016 was a colossal stick in the eye, wait till 2017 gets a head of steam going.
Update: Alien Covenant is BOMBING at the box office. Tickets sales are plummeting. The audience has spoken and world wide the resounding answer is No, we don’t like bad scripts and stupid characters. Scott will have an extremely difficult time getting Awakenings green lit with a decent budget. Covenant will be lucky to clear 200 mill. The big wigs at the studio aren’t going to like this, but on with the review.
ALIEN CONVENENT is cheap torture porn at it’s lowest, disguised as a Sci Fi horror, tent pole movie. Cheap in it’s constant cliches despite surrounded by big money effects and actors scrambling to raise a sunken ship of fools from the ocean floor mired in confusion. Continue reading
There is no Ghost in the empty Shell of the movie called Ghost in the Shell. A slow sad string of absolutely soulless scenes strung together almost absentmindedly by a director that was following the rule book of how to assemble a robot to mimic a classic Manga movie only all the parts just didn’t seem to make it into the box when it arrived on the western shores of America. Continue reading
Imagine a sweet love story of two happy stoners deeply in love. In a small town, complete in their small lives. The first 27 minutes of AMERICAN ULTRA is a sonata to the dream of contentment. Until the filthy producers force you to wake up at gun point. No wonder everyone hates producers. Continue reading
Martha? Your mom has the same name as my mom? Whhaatt? Dude, like no way. Ok, never mind, my bad. Don’t worry, I’ll save your mom.
And so ends Batman’s horrific apocalyptic nightmare. The Earth’s potential world wide domination by an alien being, Superman, is blithely ignored because Batman’s mom was also called Martha. Uhh seriously? Continue reading
The Hateful Eight works hard to be hated and it wins.
Tarantino’s supposed last film before his self proclaimed alluring retirement is the most terrible piece of meandering nonsense ever crafted by the world renowned Director. Continue reading
Captain America. THE WINTER SOLDIER is an easy and quick review. It’s bad. Anything good at all? Not really. Well Scarjo makes a few half smiles, or sneers, that is as good as it gets. Concerned faces and straight ahead action with no chills or thrills. Continue reading